About Nadia, mattress and rings

History - at least in Playboy sent. Under the heading "piercing intimate places and its consequences". Piercing, as you know, not at me, wearing rings school friend of his wife, let's call her Nadia, and I said to him no bearing on them did not have any direct or in a figurative sense. But all in order.
We lie, we somehow with little wife in bed tired and tranquility, having left, in the words of Boccaccio, three miles down the road of love. We lie and we argue if we do not buy little wife for good behavior, something gold with a stone. Decide what to buy, and begin to discuss where it is: in the ears, on the finger or neck. I jokingly suggest to beautify that part of the body that is most deserved. My wife says it is not necessary, and it will be like with Nadya. And that was with Nadya, ask. And then the wife begins to laugh wildly. I was scared, if something happened to her. In my opinion, it is laughter fifth orgasm received. And then he told the story. I'll try it then recount all the details, I think it's worth it.
Nadia was born, this brown-haired woman, but it is a pure misunderstanding. According to the mind and lifestyle - a wholly blonde. No job, no family she does not have, and have two favorite people, who in his spare time from their wives give her your affection. Together, of course, do not know. And since both of the new breed of Russian, their total thanks enough for a comfortable existence. In my opinion, it is a stone's throw from floss, but, as the saying goes, do not judge and not be judged.
Once I read in Nadia "Kosmopolitene" new fashion trends and decided to decorate his working tool that decent words not commonly referred to, two pairs of rings. Decorate and successfully exploited for a while. And then it happened.
One of the favorite wife went on holiday to the country, and he has invited to celebrate Nadia home. Uncle he was not frail, missed the girl, so that they may rejoice in the glory. German Firm mattress two-meter width umyali so that he climbed out of the spring. The next morning climbed over the sleeping favorite Nadia, left on the table a couple of greenbacks and umotal in their new Russian affairs. My wife had to go back in the evening, hoping nothing is threatened. Yeah, of course.
Towards noon for alarm Kashpirovsky. Nadia tried to get off the bed, but realized he could not. Something kept her very core, hard and painful. Mattress spring is bent at the end in a loop, so that the tip is not sticking out. Bed sheet got lost during the night pleasures, Nadia slept naked pubis on a bare mattress. When a loved one, the morning climbing through it, its carcass stopyatidesyatikilogrammovoy push it into the mattress, spring got out, loop engages with one of the rings Nadine and Nadia was on the hook without any possibility of escape on their own. To disengage the hooks should be the same stopyatidesyatikilogrammovoy force spring made of hardened wire - not unbend and soldered ring. I used to think that such things can be removed every day, such as earrings - is not, there are options and non-removable. So, Nadia, just like Winnie the Pooh went to visit, and got into a hopeless situation.
But the output yield and while Nadia desperately wanted to pee. It is, in fact, behind this and woke up. The prospect of wet mattress and then lie it is unknown how much time in a smelly puddle Woman happy with little, so she paddled for themselves both sheets - and one on which slept, and the one that hid abundantly of their wetting and in disgust threw in the corner of the room as much as possible farther. All the number one problem is solved, we can think about saving. For example, to call a favorite.
Phone - here it is, on the nightstand beside the bed. But stretched hard, Nadia does not get to him about half a meter. It could be something to throw and to drag the phone to him ... for example, using the sheets ... if both sheets were not so stupidly used as diapers. In despair, Nadia throws the phone pad. The result is predictable - it has to sixty centimeters. Second Nagy threw a pillow at the wall in the mad hope that that somehow ricocheted and push the phone. But a vile bag, as opposed to Nadi, I remember the laws of physics and quietly settled along the wall.
The next half hour Nadia cried stupidly, still soaking mattress, although on the other hand. Then he carefully inspected the place of confinement, and found it, but myself, one more thing - their own G-string panties. Desperate effort caught their big toe, pulled up to her, chewed, tied at the end of the loop - get something like a lasso.
In fact, between Nadia and the American cowboy is surprisingly little in common. But the need - a good teacher. After about three-hundredth throw she managed to hook up the phone. Hooray! - But the favorite was wound somewhere outside the service zone, his cell did not respond. And other necessary phones were Nadine memory cell on the table in the hallway and were completely inaccessible. Of the few rooms that Nadia was able to scrape the bottom of her pretty head, said only one - a favorite number two. But tell him that she was now lying naked in bed with another man, and give the address of the man ... no, it is better to die. Nadia chirped something about the barber shop, where she allegedly sitting, and hung up.
What's next? Phone salvation - 911. But that's America. In Moscow, too, has a rescue service, and her phone also ends at 911, but before that are still four digits. You remember them? Nadia did not remember. Okay, there is the Soviet 01, 02 and 03. From this set Nadia chosen as the most secure, ambulance. She responded rather quickly. Oh, I wailed Nadia, come quickly, I feel so hurt, so hurt. What hurts? - I asked the ambulance. Belly, Nadia said, instinctively trying to lie closer to the truth. First I ask a few questions about the nature of pain, which Nadia replied Lazarus at random, and the result was a preliminary diagnosis - appendicitis. Do not worry, It'll come, first she said. Only when the door is locked, warned Nadia, break something. We you that - a locksmith? - Outraged the ambulance. Themselves get up and open. I have such pain, I can not get up, Nadia begged. Do not be a fool, broke the ambulance, with appendicitis can crawl into the hallway and open the door. All leave. Wait, no, cried Nadia, I was joking. First threatened with a fine for a false call and hung up.
Call the police Nadia afraid. She introduced protocol dry line ("found in a helpless state of engagement of the penis with a spring mattress ... ") And the reaction of his wife's favorite, which will surely have time to come to the end of the proceedings. Nadia Why did not call the firemen, I do not know and will not come up. Maybe it decided that the first thing it will pour out of the fire extinguisher.
Another half hour of despair. She remembered stories about foxes and wolves, paw gnaw myself to get away from the trap. Lapu gnaw not required, it was necessary to break only a half a centimeter of flesh. Trifle for being who once broke up with her virginity and regular epilation itself all that is possible. Nadia closed her eyes and pulled her hips ... Figushki. In vain it was accused of weakness on the front. Chuck proved too strong, but the nerves - too weak. Foxes from Nadi did not work, all jerks resulted in five minutes and squeal a little drop of blood.
And then, when it seemed that the output is no no need to humbly wait for the arrival of his wife's favorite (oh, how it is a gift - do not chase the razluchnitsa, here it is ready, you want photographed, want Patli tear) - and so, in this desperate moment in Nadin umishkom surfaced yet ... one phone. 04 - Mosgaz. An old woman's voice, she mumbled into the phone, that here, the neighbors smell the smell, and the doors do not open, and she is now leaving, so you want to break, you want both.
At Nadine happiness, drove up gasman something really smell, probably smelly sheets, and decided to hacking. Can you imagine their reaction when in an empty apartment they first heard the cry "Help"And then we found across the bare mattress naked maiden holding out hands to them with a view of Robinson finally who saw the ship. Cutters in their suitcase, of course, were, so that the actual rescue took just a couple of minutes. However, very exciting, especially for gasman who are younger. I have no friends in Mosgaz, but I think that there Nadina story everyone knows and will tell the newcomers for a long time.
Perhaps readers will be disappointed, but with no savior Nadia has paid the place that they so selflessly saved and dollars with ordinary tables. Although, if you remember what it earned those dollars, the difference is not so great. Once free, she first of all went to the piercing parlor and took off the rest of the ring. The incident, despite his talkativeness, trying not to spread, so that they know the story only my wife and me. Well, now you, too.

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